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When Curiosity Strikes

I thought I heard this girl scream a name as she flung the ball at the bowling pins. On my recent bowling game, I was very intently watching a few teenage girls play on the neighbouring lane; reminding me of my teenage years. They were dancing after every shot and were cheering for the others noisily even if it meant a humble score of five. I had just hit two gutters in a frame and would try anything to get back in the game, so I followed suit. I scooped the ball up and said someone’s name, who I believed in, under my breath. Gutter again! So the second attempt I picked it up and said my name “C’mon Sneha!”. It knocked off eight pins. 

Its hard to be confident sometimes, forget about believing in yourself. Some people fear getting over-confident and under-play it. Some have an unhealthy image about themselves. Some fear not being accepted if they be themselves. A few over-think it and miss the bus.  Why do we develop these notions and things that make us want to second guess our own abilities? Retrospection is good, but can it lead to over thinking? When do you know is the right time to jump into the rabbit hole and are you ever going to be ready? Alice wasn’t ready, but she was curious. 

Curiosity is like this tiny spark which pushes us into trying new things out and gives us the courage to go beyond our doubts. Without curiosity firing the minds of Thomas Edison, The Wright Brothers and Einstein, do you think they would overcome any of their insecurities and doubts? No. Curiosity is the key to getting out of the web of low self-esteem. Curiosity leads us to making an attempt and even when we fail, the curiosity sits like a spike on your chair; not letting you sit till you have an answer. It leads to inventions, revelation of ideas, and might lead to huge shifts in market. On a personal level it changes you to believe in yourself. Once you learn from your mistakes by feeding your curiosity, you get the knowledge of how not to do things. This knowledge feeds the curiosity— “How else then?” 

Believing in yourself doesn’t come naturally if you’ve not explored all your qualms and made some mistakes. Getting a few bad cakes, the first few times you bake, will make you a good chef; Getting a whole lot of bad batches, before you hit it off, will make you excellent. For baking the bad ones, you only have to go out there and attempt it. Fall and learn. 

Have you read about the man who gave up trying to go to the moon or who gave up trying a new recipe? There are no ballads about people who stopped trying. Even if you don’t want a song about you, you do want to live a meaningful life. So how do we end up unhappy sometimes with our situations? — we stop being curious. We have a split and we just roll the bowling ball down the lane hoping it hits at least one pin. We don’t ask “how do I get both?” Somewhere in our minds we shut ourselves from experiencing the answers, confrontations or any discomfort and don’t let our curiosity be expressed. 

Other times you have enough knowledge to back up your faith and you go ahead with feigning it. Affirmations is the ability to program your mind into believing. This is because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or fantasy. You can make-believe yourself into thinking you’ve got this. That’s how people who lift three times their body weight, do it. Envisioning things mentally prepares you to have it; then when you work for it, it doesn’t seem like work. Of course back it up with knowledge, I don’t suggest you envision wings and try foolish things. 

What’s even more foolish is to think we know it all; that’s a place you don’t want to be in. Curiosity doesn’t live there and you might be proudly getting average scores and dying of insecurity inside. Get down, keep engaging in the same thing over and over till you’ve learnt. Then our scores will do the talking. 

We are programmed to see life through a certain filter. Through the influence of social media, news and politics, we like to see life through those pretty lenses. Sometimes our curiosity can become very clouded with questions that bring us in loop to the same answers. May be we keep asking the same question. If you keep testing a blue litmus with an acidic solution it will keep turning red. We have to use other tests. De-clutter, speak to people, get some air, travel, workout the creative side of your mind and see if you’re asking better questions. 

Confidence is then just an over coat that people see, and you don’t even realize. You only have the knowledge of having been there, done that; and that becomes a part of you that no one can take away: self belief. Knowledge is the only handle we need to pull and curiosity is the key. Even after all this you will have moments you won’t believe in yourself, because there is always scope for more learning, there is no end. Learning is the only curve we need to care about in our lives. So jump right in, scream your name out loud and throw the ball, watch it roll. 

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Thoughts to words

When I was in the middle school I used to car pool with my cousins and everyday, as soon as I got even half of my bottom comfortable on the car seat, I would start with — “You know what happened today?” I had to blurt out everything. People said I had a small tummy, I couldn’t keep things inside. It would be stories about a girl putting maggi on someone’s head, Shirley throwing mud at my water bottle or Mrs. Christina aiming chalks on our forehead. Random. I knew my fellow passengers were not interested and that didn’t discourage me one bit. I loved talking; you won’t sense that if you’re a new person to me. If you know me, you’ll know I cannot seal my lips and my thoughts need to be transformed to words and given a direction.

From a talkative child to learning that silence is a good space sometimes; I still think conversations and language shape humans. Why do we humans have such a profound way of communicating and getting our information across to each other? No other living species have this power of understanding, memorizing and transferring information. We have evolved to the extent where we can talk to millions by just agressively typing through our phones.

I recently tried interacting on an app called Bumble! What? You’re judging me? I love a good insight or two. Conversations are the only way you can share anything and they lead to much learning. I didn’t meet too many interesting people on this though; it’s a phone application at the end of the day and I’m trying to cut my screen time. Honestly, an app is not the only place to find interesting people or mind-boggling conversations. I deleted it after two weeks. I’m sick of using gadgets, I could wrap my phone in newspaper and throw it in the sea, only it wont degrade.  

Wait! Are you reading this with people around you? I suggest you stop reading and get on with your parley. I see myself guilty too. Sometimes when I’m using my phone and suddenly I look up to find, I have let someone feel less important than a gadget. Eye contact is the single most important body language that shows you’re interested in a conversation. No! Not the creepy glue-eyed staring. The look-up-from-your-f-ing-phone eye contact. I miss the car-pool days where no one had phones and getting heard was not even a worry.

Sometimes I’m in a conversation which I want to leave. Like me, if you’re giving him/her the idea that you’re listening, popping your bubble— you’re lying to them. It’s not being ‘courteous’. The least you can do is politely leave the dialogue by excusing yourself. We have so many preferences in life but I see very few people have preferred conversations. Rambling on about your husbands, gossiping about barbaric loudmouths on some television coffee shows, interest in how your neighbour’s grandchild got into trouble, news feed on insignificant individuals leaving the gym in sponsored fitness wear, and the likes. Do we ever use the weighing scale to value our conversations? The judgement in our courts need to be just and true; what about the judgement of our conversations? Are you calling yourself in the dock for the choice of your words?

So conversations need to have direction. ‘What questions you ask’, ‘how you answer the questions posed on you?’, ‘what you choose to let pass’, ‘how you gauge the intension of the speaker and how you subtly get your intentions across’- these questions compass the talk. You can’t and shouldn’t be too mindful all the time but if you be a little conscious it helps in keeping the coasts clear of any unwanted boats.

If you know me for a long time you’ll know I’m not that car-pooling person anymore. I do have moments of that inner child but I don’t feel the need to keep yammering. Let silence do the talking and in between add some words. The funnier the words the better.

We can have a conversation with ourselves and that’s the most important conversation of all. I was in my room once revolving on the wheely three sixty degree chair, my favourite thing to do while studying. My sister came and paused at the door. I didn’t seem to notice her, but she was observing me having an intense conversation with myself. After a good actual-Maggi-minutes she burst out laughing. I learnt that not everyone talk to themselves. Please sit down alone once in a while and have a conversation out loud. Look into the mirror and say Hi! Write letters to yourself- I just did on this website- Journal in locked notes. It will all make your words thoughtful and then every conversation you have will change your life.

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Map It

A while back the idea of having a new year resolution didn’t make sense to me. I have shared the idea of having monthly goals and weekly goals that you can keep up with. Not wait for new year to start or a Monday to start something new. Also it didn’t have to be too serious, we could definitely make it fun. What if you did want to achieve something important and get results? Result is the key word that runs behind you like trouble. Everyone is looking for results and resolutions don’t give you results. Resolution is a decision you make and decision is not an action; only actions can give you results.

Decisions are a stand you are set to take. You do need a plan to start acting on your decisions. If you set out on a marathon, you always have a plan and your training that gets you through. When you cook something, you generally follow a good recipe and have the necessary tools and ingredients to make it. When you construct a building, you have an architectural drawing and the team of contractors ready to put it in action and bring it to reality. Anything that needs to be created comes from a thought and it needs to have a direction. There has to be action in that direction, consistently as planned. 

Seems like work? That’s what results are made of: work. Resolutions are not a quick fix solution; they are just the vision which tells you where you’ve decided to go. Now you need to set the navigation map to the destination and find out the route. Follow the route and get to your destination. You consider the time, the mode of travel, distance and other factors like traffic. You need that plan if you’re deciding to do something. 

The bigger the resolution the more the planning and team support would be needed. You cannot go alone into something that is not a one man’s show. Make sure you know what you’re doing and if not get the help. I see many people follow social media health experts and buy fancy teas to lose weight. If you are looking at getting fit, design the blueprint; talk to your family and friends about helping you through it; get more aware about the journey and get hold of expert opinions to give you the best and smoothest route to your destination. All this will give you the confidence to see it come through. It won’t look like work if you’ve planned well. Executing a good plan is always more fun than work and the idea is to have fun.

Sometimes the map could get you to stuck on roads under construction or a sudden accident which is unforeseen. An injury could get you stranded on your fitness journey; heavy rains could stop the construction work; a relative’s health going bad could get you held up and miss out important meetings. All this but you don’t give up on reaching the destination right? If you are on a road trip would you turn the car and go back if you had a flat tire? Or fix it and have a lay over if needed but get there nonetheless. We are eager to continue on the plan and reach the destination. 

Here comes the reality check. If you turned your car and went back home, you never intended to get the results in the first place. So please make resolutions only for which you care about and the results you are desperate to get. If it is a casual feeling and not having the result doesn’t really matter—then that’s just an influenced resolution. What is it you authentically want? — only gets clear when you get down to planning for it. So have a plan don’t depend just on “Sheer Dumb Luck”.

The real reason people fail their resolutions and goals, even if it matters, is they don’t plan for it. Make planning more fun: have planners, monthly lists, weekly checklist, daily to do list and reminders, post its, mental affirmations. My Physics teacher, Mrs. Christine Peter always encouraged us to doodle all over our text books. I realized the importance of it now. Visual memory: you’ll not have to keep looking back, you’ll remember it like you’ve mapped it. So draw, colour and scribble all over your to-do list and planners. Personalize your plans, intensely love the planning phase and the execution will be a cakewalk. Have fun planning: have your cake and eat it too.

Watch the below videos for further assistance in getting that Goal achieved! Must watch and have fun while you’re at it.

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Time out

I have so many thoughts playing on my head as to what I need to do next. “You cannot ‘not-be-working’”, “You are wasting time”, “People are going to ask you what’s next and you need to know what to say”, “Do you really need this?” and “Trust me it will do you good”. Majority of them are just getting me anxious for being on a break. 

Have you heard of the concept of break year? So I have a few friends who have taken a break year or break months, where they are not working anymore, not studying and have nothing in mind for the present. I am on a break period and its been two weeks. The anxiety could be lethal. I’m scared to admit that I’m taking a break. The whole purpose of it, being a break, is defeated because mentally I’m just constantly fretting.

@buddhadoodles on Instagram

(A deep breath in, sigh)

If you can sense the millionth of a milli second and have control of what you think, see, do, speak, move, anything that flows or moves in that split of time; (sort of like Matrix) what would you want to do? What is it you would want to spend your time doing if you had just that much time left with you? Its tough to say what I would want to do but I know exactly the things I would not want to be doing. Not using my phone tops the list, rather choose doing nothing.

Productivity is so drilled into us; we need to prove we are busy all the time. We are taught the concept of time management, and the more work we get done in the twenty-four hours, the better we are considered. Have you heard songs where they build up and then suddenly break it off to a complete rest for a beat and play again. If you play a musical instrument, you would know that the rest is equally important if not more. Going with the beats, placing the notes where the fall and rest when we don’t play a note. Even the notations have a sign for rest. 

I’m working on a new vegetable garden and I want to share something I learnt about the soil in agriculture. You plough the land, sow the seeds, let it go through the process and reap the harvest. For the next sowing season, you have to let the soil rest. The longer the rest the better for the soil to build up good bacteria and micro organisms, and the richer the soil. Nature has many things to teach us if we look closely. Being busy depletes us of our creative energy, passion, the drive, proactive attitude; it all gets used up to grow our plants. Once we reap some benefit, we have to get back all these good bacteria and micro organisms, which comes back with good rest. 

In school we always got a Christmas break and Summer holidays. No work during these breaks. Once you’re in the “Corporate world” the golden word is “Hustle”. What about the maximum stress that a human mind can be subjected to? Doctors will prescribe you drugs, and others- workout, diets and innumerable suggestions for stress related disorders. I thought prevention was better than cure. I would love to see people understand work management and rest management, leisure being the tougher one to manage in a fast paced environment.

I had asked a friend once, when we met, “What are you doing now?” and I was quite surprised when she confidently said “Nothing!”. Now I clearly understand why she respected what she was doing even if no one else was and she wasn’t afraid of saying it out loud. “An Idle mind is the devil’s playground” heard that one. Busy minds don’t give new ideas, may be devil’s playground is a good thing after all. Its only when we stop and breathe, in our moments of relaxation, we get all the good insights. For a muscle to grow after tearing, for the dough to rise once kneaded, for stains to be removed through soaking, and for human minds to think in its full potential; REST.

If by Rudyard Kipling: A poem I want to live by

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One morning I woke up replaying an argument I had a few days ago and I lived with that thought playing in my head the whole day. This became normal after a few weeks. I couldn’t tell I was doing this, a few months down and it was habit before I realised. It’s a dark space to be in, I can see now that I’m not there anymore. Over thinking had become very natural to me and I didn’t want to call it depression. It’s a taboo, right?, to have depression and talk about it. I mean not everyone thinks it’s okay. Not even today.

From this dark space my mind could only operate like that, but from another view I knew I’m blessed beyond imagination. How do you decide in the worst second of your mood that you need to be seeing life from the sunny-beach eyes and not from some cold-cave-hollow-eyes(exaggerated)?  

It was the urge to live better and fulfilled but knowing what I deserve. Know your worth, that you deserve to feel good. My sister passed me on this advice she got -“if you know you’re doing the right thing, don’t let anything that anyone says or does affect you”. What does your conscience tell you? 

I think talking to her, sharing my space and taking help was the main thing. Need to know that I deserve better. Sulking, believing in the negative words voiced at you, playing victim, beating yourself up mentally, letting yourself think your life is controlled, it was all exhausting me and I could tell by the way I felt. I wanted better. A few friends heard me out, some pushed me away. I wasn’t giving up.

A while back I wrote about how I want to have a fulfilled experience of life and not just chase happiness. No emotions are wrong or bad. It’s the way we deal with it. Over time I’ve learnt to not resist any emotions. Feel it, leave the thought behind and just pick myself up and move. 

Do everything in my capacity to get back up for me. 

So it’s not like I’m mentally on the beach all the time, I still have rough moments in a day. I can choose to hold on to it and I can still add up everything that’s not happening the way I want it to. Every obstacle, everything that I’m being stopped from, every troubling incident that’s added to my memory like when you’ve added too much salt in your curry and you can’t take it out. Just trying to fix my curry as I pass every day. 

The idea is to not fix the curry, the salt is already added you trying to fix it is only going to make things worse. Just accept and make a new one.

Once I know I’m not able to think clearly I tell myself to “reroute”. Keep a list at hand -Dark chocolate(its magic), call sister, call a friend, take a shower, blare music, get a walk, Netflix, binge watch comedy videos (Sunil Grover) and read some inspiring stories online, . Not running away but just giving my mind some timeout, because when you’re emotional it’s not easy to tell the difference between sea breeze and cave chills.

So may we help each other in rough seas and pick ourselves up when there’s no one around, because who doesn’t like beaches.

Must Must Must watch this!!!

DO read! Very helpful!

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I have a million other topics but this one is long due in my subconscious. Board games were a thing a while back and getting one on your birthday meant something. I used to carry it with me all day, tucked under my arm; While eating, while going to play outside, till I’d leave for school and once back, even to bed. I wasn’t a teddy bears or dolls kind of person, just this one, if I was attached to anything, I’d literally glue it on to me. I don’t know of anyone that clingy to be honest. I couldn’t get to sleep without holding my mom’s index finger the whole night. I don’t know where I lost this trait of mine, kind of. Okay, getting there.

Attachment is something you don’t understand when you’re that young, and as we grow older we do start associating with different things. I see people are attached to work routes or jogging routes. I know of people who are attached to certain food (rice, potatoes). People attach themselves to people, which I thought is pretty normal, but that’s a perspective. There is another take on it. Sometimes even attaching to thought patterns or ways of doing things, like waking up from one side of the bed or having fixed seats on your dining table (hate much?). Smallest of things can become an integral part of your life and it becomes a habit to have those things or people in your life. For me that’s attachment as I’ve grown older.

This article was totally inspired by my swimming goggles. Served me for more than a decade and managed to snap after bearing for one last swim. I can say I was totally amazed at how I wasn’t ready to let go of it yet. I put it in one corner of my room for keeps, oh souvenir­–I told myself. If you’re really reading you know this isn’t about the goggles. Don’t we do the same with people? Hold on to them till the last thread and still keep hoping for something to happen. What is it like to just let go?

It was one of those house parties (party at home) I don’t remember what was the celebration but we’d planted helium balloons tied to stones outside our house. I wouldn’t do that today as I’ve seen too much on how balloons affect other animals once they’re up and away and land somewhere we don’t even see. Although, my take from that night was when my niece and nephews were so excited to just grab some and let go. Look at the helium slowly rise up, taking the balloon with it. I could sense their feeling only to make a relative sense out of it.

Imagining everything I have ever attached myself to, flying away in that thick night air, not caring to look back at me or plead at me to not let go. All this while, it was all up to me to just know that I wanted this. To loosen my grip on those thoughts, watch it drift. The thoughts like helium are meant to rise up, only if we choose to let the strings lose. Taking with it all our sense of baggage and leave us feeling lighter than ever. May be we are meant to always feel like that but we want to be the stones holding the balloon to the ground. What satisfaction in being stones? Feeling under control maybe, having some kind of authority. Is it worth it though?

I got this in complete clarity only by reading “The Immortal talks” by Shunya. Its something I will hold-on to till my last breath. Or till I know I want to let go.


When we attach something we make it a part of who we are, give it identity. This is Jerry’s phone, or this was Lata’s idea. The phone or idea, or object is belonging to someone and the ownership makes us feel important. We created it or used it for a purpose and after that purpose is served we can keep the memory or learning (in our lumbar minds- Sherlock Holmes), remove what’s not needed. How do you know if you’re too attached? Just try letting go. If its easy then may be you don’t have to abandon it, if not definitely time to make the move.

I have read that only an empty cup can be filled again. It never made sense until now. Only if we detach from our unfulfilling attachments can we be ready to receive other things, learn new thing, meet new people, see new places. (If mom’s reading I’m still voting for Coorg AGAIN! That’s a different context. Next time may be a new place.). Try jogging from a different route everyday, I did this and I’m telling you its liberating in its own smallish way. Try new cuisines and vegetables you’ve hated all your life; you never know your taste buds might surprise you. Why should there be a wrong side to roll out of bed. Roll out from all sides, everyday choose a different one. See life from different angles and that’s going to happen only if you turn the kaleidoscope, in different directions not if you are hypnotized by one design. Just saying, I’m not keeping the broken goggles, it served me well. I’m Grateful and time for new ones!


Buy the book already!!! And if I’ve gifted it to you read it already!

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It’s all up to You

The challenge bug was back and this October though more hectic than needed, I took it up that if I saw something nice about someone I would say it. It seemed so very easy, just drop compliments everywhere you go. Yes? No! Not so easy if you mean exactly what you say.

We all are acquainted with so many types of compliments, some just meant to make an awkward situation worse; some just to flatter and get things done. Some are a conversation starter. I knew exactly though, how a genuine compliment felt, when someone said it and they meant what they said. It’s a sort of validation and appreciation and you can tell by the way it feels. Acting like the yeast in the fermentation process. Catalysts exist for a reason, don’t they? So I thought of spreading this ‘feel good’ (inspired by some genuine compliments), because why not let people know if you think they’re fly.

In the movie “Hancock”, Will Smith the lead role says “Good Job” to the cops who are not even half as good as him. Shocked, but because he meant it, their faces light up. Remember the famous ‘Jaadoo ki Jhapi’ In Munna Bhai M.B.B.S. where Sanjay Dutt hugs the hospital staff? Frustrated sweeping the floor over and over, a small appreciation of his work makes the old man’s day.

A nanny of one of my nephews told me that when you tell babies or kids ‘they’re good’ and ‘they’re such kind people, or generous’, which ever adjective you put there, they’d want to live up to it. Encouragement goes such a long way than reprimanding children. My grand dad told me once I’d be a great person some day, I want to live that everyday of my life.

images.jpegIt’s a small thing really, to just say something, but my difficulty was in meaning it and getting to the other person without looking like “WOAH! What did she eat this morning?”. So trust me I didn’t give away much. Not as much as I expected at least. I learnt something in the process though, there is so much beauty out there, so many things to be fascinated by, so many people to be inspired by. We just miss out so much of it by burying ourselves in heaps of criticism.

You could enter the bakery and leave without even noticing the smell of freshly baked focaccia, because the whiff of someone’s intestines made their way towards you; you were busy eaves dropping on the couple fighting next to you (take home gossip); or you saw your ex and ran out; or you were engrossed on your phone. So many distractions out there; overcoming each one, even if you got to breathe in the heavenly bakes, you’d be too callous or take it to be too obvious, for granted. If we overcome that too and reach a grateful point in our lives, we wouldn’t want to look stupid or be judged as a fawn.

Yes, I dissected the whole thing. I have personally hated getting a compliment all my life and backed off judging the other person as flattering me. I even opine that flattery and flatulence have a lot in common. Of which I can discuss with you at length on another day. For now, lets get some fresh air on this subject. Compliments are healthy and ‘Thank you’ to every single one I’ve received.

Of course there is the other end to it where celebrities get addicted to the fame, paparazzi, fan following and praises. If used like a drug, compliments can be dangerous. You cannot fuel your motivation by just compliments from others. ‘Anything in excess can be harmful’ the age old saying drilled into my head . Not to fear just getting the balance is the key.

Addict   ←  Self evaluate and go ahead Feel Good  → Shut it out don’t compliment me

Giving compliments to different people and watching their reactions, only left me with one idea. People who knew where they stand and were secure enough about their valuation, took it gracefully, felt good, thanked you and didn’t need to store it for later. Embracing the goodness is up to you. Looking out for beauty and fascination is also up to you. Appreciating someone’s efforts, nature, people who show up for you, being grateful, it’s all up to you. Making someone’s day is up to you. So are you making this world a better place the next month? Because it’s all up to you.


“Beauty is not a question of shapes and forms. It is a question of what you exude.” Sadhguru, Isha Foundation.

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Diwali Purging

I’m back to my annual cleaning for Diwali, donating things I don’t use, arranging things, organizing, changing the liners in my cupboards and making space for good things to come in. I got this crazy idea synonymously. This is just the external environment we refresh annually; a lot of people do it for Christmas. Physically our bodies do it with the help of our kidneys and liver, which detox naturally (I just have to relate things to health after all). What about the mind? The mind works more and we are always using it. How about removing thoughts we don’t need? Arranging the limited thoughts that are useful and organizing them mentally (jotting it down). Making space for new thoughts to come in.



For all of us over-thinkers, I guess we’re just very materialistic in terms of the mind. Hoarding things is bad enough, we hoard thoughts, imagine how crammed our brains get. So the essential question here is “how” to de-clutter your mind and remove thoughts you don’t need?

I was at a point of time where a thought once held in my mind, it just got pasted there and won’t leave no matter what. It was like compulsive thinking. Feeling like a rat on a glue patch, I would go on attaching myself to it and all my idle time would drown me in it. Obsessive thought process is like a bald man buying too many combs and hair brushes. How did I come out of this?

When I was growing up I didn’t like yoga classes and I just couldn’t sit still. I can still remember the expression of Mrs.Dolly (my yoga teacher) every time I’d peek open my eyes in meditation. She had given up on me. It grew on me only recently, so much that I want to write about it.

I gradually moved into loving meditation since, one of the yoga sessions; we were told by our instructor, Deepti, to listen to different sounds lying in shav asana. The cycle bell went off, then I could hear a bus whizzing away till its sound faded in the distance. Someone was leaving, so the door opened and closed. It wasn’t like the usual relaxation but we were supposed to be actively focusing on things. It was annoying for someone who looks forward to the five minutes’ power nap. I realized only later that only my sense of hearing was active the whole time and the rest of the senses were on a holiday. Detaching the other senses made hearing smallest of sounds seem so natural.

Imagine detaching from all of your senses then. It doesn’t come naturally and takes years of meditation. There are Float therapies which put you in a sensory deprived state, yet to experience that one, for now I’m just incorporating meditating into my daily life.

I even had this weird idea that everywhere (at work, home, school or at the station) it would just be normal for people to stop whatever they were doing at a particular time of the day and meditate. Just like standardized time zones, living patterns, receiving newspapers, and many worldlier accepted habits, why not have a world over standard time for meditation.

I can only imagine how many people would still choose not to or not be able to, since it would be easier when everyone is doing it. It wouldn’t be something you need to teach anymore, since any child would see this from the day they are born and naturally want to imbibe it. Like how we can’t wait to start wearing watches and tell the time.

I picture my thoughts, like the yellow 3M post-its, knocking at my head. So meditating hasn’t stopped my thoughts or the knocking. Its just made it easier to hear the knocks and not answer the door. The knocking slows down and gets tired eventually. I now mostly let in (focus on) only the thoughts that help me live in a better way or become better at whatever I intend to do. Keeps my mental space roomy and airy enough to let the post its fly out when I’m done. This Diwali, or once in a while make sure you air out your mental space and use the right post-its to decorate your wall.

How to meditate has been answered by too many people but I’ve generally followed the Smile-and-sit technique for 10-15 min, also a few links bellow for whatever I’ve tried along the process.

Eat, Pray, Love- Elizabeth Gilbert 

Chanting Om-mani-padme-hum

Twin hearts meditation

Isha Kriya by Sadhguru

Disclaimer: The cover photo is not clicked by @mycoffeeweather Its available on the internet and its just got it edited as relevant to the article. 

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A meeting with Silence

A tailor bird almost never sits still and if you’re a bird watcher you’d know; its incessant tweeting can be painful to some. I want to start by narrating this beautiful encounter one cloudy morning on my terrace. The tailor bird decided to do something differently that day, which left me a different person in some ways. It was honestly lucky I spotted one, perched motionless on a branch almost a meter away from me; like a breathing statue, in the quite moist air of the early morning. We were both letting the stillness soak into us. It felt like we both felt each others presence, almost a conversation without any language. What was so special about this moment anyway?

I met silence that day. I don’t know if the tailor taught me something or it was just Bangalore weather working its charm, I was mesmerized.

Silence can be felt anywhere and everywhere and you don’t have to be any special place for it. One of the Fridays in June this year, as I stepped out of my room, my mom in her usual morning-tea spot expecting a ‘good morning’, was being confronted with a dumb charade. Unable to convey my point I wrote a note- “I’m not speaking the whole day”. I could tell she was happy inside—one day of peace. This experiment didn’t mean I was going to lock myself up; I went about my day normally. My curiosity to Vipasana Meditation led me to this challenge, and it wasn’t as easy as I had in mind.

I almost blurted out when emotions took over at any point. Just like all other bad habits, I realized, we have made this a habit to keep talking all the time. Unnecessary details and information being discussed, explain ourselves more than needed and repeat sentences till the listener wants to run away.

I recall being at Echoes in Koramangala (Bangalore), a unique restaurant, which is mostly managed and run by specially-abled people who are hearing- and speech-impaired. They gave better service than any regular restaurant and I was in awe. How little we need to say to convey what we mean. Just a few gestures and nods can also suffice. Actions speak louder than words and this was like a mind opening experience. If you’re a foody then all the more reasons to head there.

We don’t need to be loud to get the point across to the other person. Subtlety will be louder than your loudest words as read in a recent article, “Those who use the nuances of silence as their most effective communication tool. Indeed, how well we use silence in communication is an indicator of our emotional intelligence. Those who speak less are heard with more care and taken more seriously.” Times of India Vineetha Nangia.

From whatever I know in Hindustani Classical Music, its’ said that there are seven Swars and they can be sung on different scales. The seven notes in music are like different sound frequencies. If all these frequencies are shut down only one big emptiness remains and that is silence. In Silence any swar gets created and silence bears that swar and becomes that frequency, then gets back to becoming silence. All notes begin from silence and end in silence. Hence silence is the biggest swar, can become anything from being nothing.

From the Big bang moment till now, silence kept fading away as the noise took over. Today people think silence can be found only in Himalayas (or secluded places). Silence is inside us and we can totally experience it if we just pause and focus on our own creation of sounds. From that one days adventure I am very cautious of the sounds I create. Keep noticing if I’ve kept the glass down louder than it was needed. I don’t use the horn so much when on the road, just wait up till it clears (whatever is holding me up). Surely noise pollution is something that each of us need to stop creating. Our DNA can get altered with the sounds around us, now more than ever, having this understanding we need to make a shift. If the tailor bird can sit still for a few minutes, I’m sure sure we all can make an effort too.



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A view or how I see?

I am lying on the beach bed and looking up at the stars in the sky, mesmerized enough to just be there forever. While my fambam just gave it a look and got on with their respective ways of enjoying the holiday. One’s surfing channels on the television, someone is reading a book, others just want to catch enough sleep. I look back at that time and wonder why didn’t everyone just want to gaze at the stars, or think it as amazing as I thought it to be.

Imagine we didn’t have any of the 5 senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. What would our experience of this world be? Could we feel any emotions, physical pain, or music? Nothing. You would feel nothing without your senses. If we didn’t have taste buds, we wouldn’t be able to tell the taste of coffee, or have an experience of any taste. Our perception of food would be very different. The Best part would be, we would probably all end up eating right all the time. Same way, just may be, the sight of stars doesn’t appeal to everyone as much as other things because of how they see it.


Furiously texting post 11:00PM is possible only if I’m having a mind bending conversation with someone. Something that I wouldn’t miss for anything in the world. Some conversations question the way we think, challenges it and breaks open a new idea. You may forget the entire conversation but the new idea just sticks. Its not really about the conversation but the after-thought we are left with, which gives us a new way of thinking. Conversations do help us with new perceptions.

Recently, from what I recall, I had this conversation on Meditation and why one must (I’m against) go into seclusion to meditate. The conversation ended with each of us happy with our own opinions. It left me with just one idea, that may be our senses formed each of our opinions differently on this topic.

We can create an understanding only from what we see, feel, touch, smell and taste. Each of us have a different perception of life because of the degree to which we use each of our senses. The reality is different for everyone. Given that, we can look at our perception to be mutually exclusive and not enforce it on the other. This could save so many arguments if we just saw that difference of opinions and perception doesn’t mean the other person is too stubborn to accept your way of thinking. Her/his experiences wouldn’t allow him to. It changed my perception of how people don’t really want to understand my point of view sometimes. May be they just can’t for now.

Having been chased by street dogs on one of the lanes in my running route, now when I go running, I automatically avoid that lane without thinking. Every time I see a street dog my body starts to stiffen up and I slow down my run. Even if we consciously focus on not using our 5 senses, we can react in auto pilot. Owing to the most beautiful creation, the Human Brain, we store information (old experiences) in subconscious and the conscious minds. Our memories play a huge role in imprinting our previous experiences on our future. To perceive things in a new way we have to blur out the memories mostly. Doesn’t mean I’m going to take that lane tomorrow. I just know that its my perception of street dogs—being a potential to getting me bitten. Going to wait for it to change, may be a new way of looking at street dogs, till then slow runs.




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Standing in my Mother’s Shoes

Like most Indian (paranoid) moms I have a beautiful lady for a mother and she loves her children, beyond anything I can explain. I was a fussy little brat when young—she still thinks I’ve not grown up an inch. I look at her toil everyday, every second, in her own way to make sure everything is smooth in our lives. I don’t see her complain about it; she is doing it selflessly. Sometimes I try to understand this attitude of endless giving. I can’t even comprehend it, secretly don’t want to. Mostly, because I cannot fathom being that selfless.

Selfless or even grateful for that matter. Whenever my demands are met, I wouldn’t express my gratitude as much. On the contrary, sometimes when I’m upset, I make a huge scene, blow it out of proportion and make sure the point is made. I wonder what gets into me. Without airbrushing any of my mistakes, I stand here being a total “dementor” (Refer: Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling). I can’t even imagine being in her place.

Most of us are very ambitious and goal driven. I feel every one wants to achieve something in life. Go somewhere, do something great, leave a mark and get noticed. What about mothers? (Long pause to think)

I love children and I wave at every kid I see, shamelessly ignoring their parents getting annoyed. I would love having my own kids some day. Oh! No! The idea of having a kid like myself, really shakes the ground in my imagination. What sort of a mother would I be? Would I thrash the living ghost out of the kid or spoil them with everything? What’s right? Who is going to tell me? The thought of putting myself in her shoes really got me blown away. Would I sacrifice my evening soap siesta to teach my children Hindi? Would I let my kids butt into every conversation I would have with my husband? I have no idea what in the world they are going to throw at me? A whole new ball game.

We always think moms should be this way, she should do this and not that. My mom doesn’t socialize much; I pester her to call her friends home. I put so much pressure on her. The over-smart side of me could write her a manual on “How to be my mom”. For a human to have tiny humans act smart is difficult for the ego to take. I know this because I have a tiny human for a brother who has shot up and doesn’t act tiny anymore. Now if the tiny human has come out of your own body and is acting smart I would want to show them their place. What stops my mom from showing me mine?

On connecting the dots, I think that’s love. Her love for me is in my cells and my thoughts, my feeling, my words and even my bones. She doesn’t want to stop me, or doesn’t ever put me down. She knows I’m tough on her but she is so open to it. She is where I get my willingness, motivation to learn and be high on life. She has always been there for me even in my nastiest rebuttals. Sure it’s normal to argue with moms for a daughter. I still care, I care for her more than anybody in this world and sometimes the thought of not having her around someday to lie on her lap, brings tears to my eyes.

Mothers, they are your living walking, talking pillar of support and strength. I hope I’m better than a rainbow kooshball for mine. I know I haven’t been the best kid anyone would want, but my mom is irreplaceable to me. As I’m writing this I’m realizing the importance of feeling grateful for the people in your life, from every single cell. No one can be anything alone, you have a whole back up team helping you stand up from falls, dressing up your wounds and bringing the roof on your head for rainy days. So grateful for my people, especially my Mata! I LOVE YOU <3


Disclaimer: This article doesn’t imply that I’m planning to have kids now. I am still an overgrown kid trying to get perspective. I’m that kid who studies in the summer holidays even before the year starts.

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High on life

How tough is it to feel high spirited all the time? Is social media to be blamed? I have not been able to stop myself from using a lot of Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp. I could just say its unavoidable but I personally know a lot of people who hardly or never use it to go about their lives. Did it get me anxious at some point? Yes. Does the likes and comments on social media give me a high? It did, at least sub consciously.

No one would document their entire life on social media, especially not the lows. You just have to know everyone’s human and no one is posting a selfie when they are crying. Imagine seeing photos of people crying everyday, that’s not what you want. So be happy for someone if they’re doing good. I only got this recently thanks to Hitha Chandrashekhar‘s ‘hithavachana“. Have courage to find people posting their beautiful moments on the web and not feel bad about yourself, or your life. Self talk- ‘Dont make it about you.’ Its their moment of shining glory, clap for your tribe. WE CANNOT COMPARE.

Everything’s downhill one second and exorbitantly great the next. I don’t know this unpredictability is growing on me or I’m ignoring the lows. Now I can say I’ve come a long way from that. “Not all days are the same!” This was told to me by my Coach at boxing class when I was upset about not giving my best. We cannot expect all days to be the best. Everyday is not a Sunday and we have to love Mondays too with equal force. EACH DAY IS BEST IN ITS OWN WAY, TAKE WHAT YOU CAN FROM IT.

The one thing that keeps me really up and about is my workout schedule and my body clock. I don’t compromise on it and my body doesn’t compromise on me. Its important to have a morning routine and I go up to my terrace to see the sunrise even if its cloudy. Even if it’s a bad day look for the good- that’s the message I’m taking in everyday. And when its that golden goldy coming out of the tank of my neighbours building I close my eyes and just feel the light on my face. That’s me. You could have your own thing going. MORNING ROUTINE.

Exercising or sportsobviously as the internet and mostly everyone I know of, proclaims to keep your mood up! There’s not much I can add to it, its all out there, endorphins, sweating it out, blood circulation, be active. WORKOUT.


Watching movies like “Chak de” or “Bhaag Milkha Bhaag”, “Wonder Woman” and “Creed” brings the enthu cutlet out of me. I keep myself in reach of anything that can motivate me. Its just contagious. Reading books help too. The lead character from the series “Me Before You”, “Me After You”, and “Still Me” by Jojo Moyes, Louisa Clark really inspires me to be upbeat in every situation. My friend once suggested I watch videos of people breaking their limits before I workout and Yes that does get your spirits up. GET INSPIRED.

This one you don’t want to try for every time. I use all the healthy food that I like as a motivator, like dark chocolate and banana chips. I set it like a reward system. If I finish my work by a time I’ve set, I get a piece of the healthy treat. Its like a carrot stick effect. It totally works for me and I’m not indulging in something completely off my lifestyle. TRICK AND TREAT.

Sometimes I break my routine by doing something very different. I call a friend in the middle of work, eat in front of the TV, don’t speak for a whole day. Its what distracts me from my routine, but believe me these small changes have a huge effect when you get back to the regular. Travel can’t be convenient for everyone at all times, so try to do some thing differently everyday. May be play music in the shower if you don’t already. MAKE IT DIFFERENT.

Last one, to be motivated you have to care enough about something, that you are interested in. Enough to do something about it. If you don’t care about anything and you don’t mind being complacentabout everything, then you really don’t land yourself anywhere but where you already are. CARE ABOUT SOMETHING.

Start making an effort towards your attitude to approaching anything in life. If you want to be motivated all the time its up to you. When you find your own motivator inside you, you don’t need to look outside. Or wait for someone to cheer you, you are enough. It’s a skill you want to develop because not everyone is waiting to pat your back. Keep the spirits up and amplify the motivating voice inside.


Motivation in the 21stcentury business world

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From Milo to French Press

A few months back when my friend wasn’t married and packed off to Bombay, I made a pact with her that we keep challenging each other with whatever the other is uncomfortable doing. Like eating at a restaurant alone, getting closure with a friend and going out of my way if I normally don’t believe in it. I didn’t know why I suggested this back then and only now I realised I have FOBC-“Fear of Being Complacent.”

FOBC is me running away from  compliments, in the hope that it doesn’t get to my head. I don’t become too pleased with myself.

My coach just waits for me to accept I’m good enough, but I keep denying my form or acting like a 560kg leg press is like ‘no big deal’. My subconscious- “Don’t show your excitement or you’ll become complacent.”

Being wired like that doesn’t make me a control freak, it is in fact the best attitude to have to grow and learn.


Imagine ordering a coffee at a fancy eatery and getting a Milo. How does that feel? Every time you snooze the alarm, every time you say you will workout and skip, when you don’t finish the work before heading home, if you give a time and don’t reach, you are being a Milo. Not for anyone else but yourself.

I don’t want Milo, I don’t expect Milo from myself. I raise the bar every time. If I am the filter coffee, then maybe I become a cappuccino, then I aim for Mocha Latte, higher Expresso and may be the French press one day. But never going back to Milo.

We may not be French Press in all aspects of our lives today. We can work on each one of them and through the process of failing, learning and getting better rise from being Milo.

Sometimes I over think and feel I’m not doing enough, but as long as there is progression and we’re aiming for the next level it’s not a complacent attitude. Which makes me realise I can celebrate my wins too without becoming complacent. (That’s my next challenge.)

If you have that attitude you could be hard on other people sometimes. Expect them to be more than Milo, but they need the same space and time to progress as you would. If you’re too okay with their complacency, as a team you may slack, and if you’re too hard on them they may just become demotivated. The key is to balance it out.

It’s all about the attitude. So let’s be more resilient in our endeavours and less complacent. This attitude will help you reach any goal, be it losing weight. Correction. Be it getting FIT, having enough water, making it on time, whatever you are aiming at. So get on with the day now, go get your French Press.

PS: I’ve never had Milo so no offence Milo I just took it as a reference with coffee. It’s not aiming at putting down the drink or anything. For some Milo could be where they want to reach from Ceralac/Nanpro.

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Just happy or human?

Are we all looking for happiness instead of a fulfilled human experience? Even as a baby when we cry everyone tries to cheer you up immediately. What about that part of the human experience? Like having to miss people, to be heart broken, to fail at times, get uncomfortable. Is it all not natural, like a part of the journey of life?

Its very important that we stop reading articles which says “10 ways to be happy” or “do this to have a happy life”. Situations are going to come which will throw you off your couch and make you feel really low. Chances are you’re not going to be able to make yourself happy instantly. To accept being in that place and be okay  because its a part of this experience should be the normal. Not getting anxious about your next bout of happiness.

I have been there and done that. Read some 10’000 quotes on happiness and how to be happy manuals. Its only going to make you feel like being unhappy isn’t normal. Sad and unhappy is also a part of human emotions. The sooner we accept it, we go through it and come out of it, the more human and normal it is.

May be when you’re not happy you’re just neutral, it doesn’t  necessarily have to be sad. Neutral is also an experience to take in.

Yes there may be research backing up the importance of being happy for good health and laughing and smiling more often. I just feel I can’t force laugh if something isn’t funny, laughing clubs isn’t my thing. If I genuinely feel its funny I know I can’t control my laughter. Why hide other emotions? If ‘LOL’ is a thing even “Crying Out Loud” should be a thing. Its only real that we treat all emotions with equal respect.

The sky is the same, the clouds keep changing shapes. I am the blue inside and my emotions are just like passing clouds. Imagine if the clouds never changed their shapes or moved. There would be no rains and the sun would just shine through in the same way everyday.

Everyday is different and we can just take it as it is. Happiness is being glorified but I would not fixate on the idea of being just happy.

“Openness means no conclusions – simply looking at everything the way it is.” – Sadhguru

I want to be every expression this human life can give. So when I’m actually happy I can relish it for what it is.

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Curl up and Love

We can hate too much and we can love something way too much, it is in our capacity to notice what we are choosing to do.

We all have this ideal image about everything in our lives. We cannot deny the influence of social media, advertisements, movies, people around us and unsolicited advice shaping our thoughts of how things should be. Anything out of the ‘should be’ standards is rejected.

An example of an old advertisement speaking for itself



Dark skin is such a worn out discussion but I know of people who still hate their shade and are wondering if they should invest some time in the ‘fair and lovely” gimmick. Wondering why some actors with unmatchable skills in their profession and success are not confident in their own skin (literally).

There are a million topics like,  growing taller as kids, balding as adults, having Happy dent teeth, obsessed about body size over fitness levels, leaner looking arms, 6 packs and even skin tone, big IQ, making choices acceptable to your environment, not failing ever, associating with the “good” people and what not. We are always under some kind of pressure to meet the standards our environment puts us in.

Focusing on things our bodies are not good at, we start hating that thing instead of accepting it.

I grew up watching the Vatika and Clinic plus girls swishing straight hair with light perfectly reflecting off their hair like a white shiny line. I thought something is wrong with my hair, made up my mind that it’s too dry and I need to fix it. I even got a friend scorn at me, on a day I was lazy to struggle with my hair, “look at your hair” and I was left out of the plan only for not fitting the “should be” standards.

I didn’t want to be left out and I didn’t accept my hair for being curly. My dad had the curly hair genes and Mom was the Vatika girl, and that didn’t help either. I was at war with my hair when removing knots and combing it down trying to straighten it and on giving up, get it chopped off to a short length.

The journey of getting to know my curls, accepting, being friends, to taking care has taught me self love.

I stumbled upon some good angels like Dolma from Body craft Bangalore, Nikita Suresh @nikynutrition Nutritionist, Bangalore and @honestlizhere Instagram. Life just was on good roads. On another hair venting session Liz said “pyaar se” translated as  “with love”. It lighted a bulb in my mind. Honestly, I’ve never stopped loving my hair after that.

It’s different when you’re not waiting for love to come from outside. You’re waiting for yourself to show up for you, to accept yourself and be kind to yourself. It’s not selfish it’s self love to learn to be kind, loving and patient with yourself, whoever you have become over the years, who ever you anticipated to be and have turned out differently or not, accept yourself wholly first and be kind to yourself my friend and things will just turn around for you. May be this February create a small challenge of self love.

Also I read this in a mbg article, watch the tone of your self talk. It’s going to change your life if you can talk to yourself “pyaar se”.

Also Have to check out:

How To Grow Confident In Your Own Beauty


Accepting yourself (TED)

How do you define yourself? (TED)


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How is your life? “It is fine” she said.

Do not be quick to tip your king, Phiona. You must never surrender.” Coach Robert.

Phiona, a 14 year old, from Uganda and her story made me want to write this today, about how I felt after watching the movie, Queen of Katwe, based on her life-story.

‘Challenges’ is what I’m going to talk about. Everyday is a challenge and in everyday there are many challenges. A few of them we know how to deal with so we immediately attend to it with full confidence and a few we procrastinate because we have our reasons. Some we see it coming and others just throw us in an uncomfortable place. Then we do everything in our capacity to make it comfortable for ourselves. Even if that means putting away the challenge or acting like it doesn’t exist. When it’s new at first it’s a challenge and as we keep putting it away it becomes a problem.

Phiona is very strong headed like her mother and it just puts me in an embarrassing situation just thinking of all the challenges they fought head on in their lives, which makes my problems look so made up. Made up or may be I just don’t plan how to take on my challenges and not let it wait.

We must plan, plan and we must plan. The kids in Katwe had to plan for when there would be rains or when there is drought. Their Coach taught them to take this planning for a challenge attitude to their game of chess. If everyone took a challenge like what it is and planned for it, he or she would definitely beat it with necessary action.

I have a challenge of getting stressed out in a certain situation and instead of planning I am literally running into that situation over and over again. I haven’t really planned anything on how I am going to react to a situation like that, the next time it’s coming. Which means I’m not prepared even though I’ve experienced it more than a million times. I don’t even see it coming until its happened and I’ve given the same old reaction.

I am enjoying the comfort in not having to deal with it. I am not looking at the damage it’s causing, my health and my reaction is causing to other people. So first step is to really study the situations coming, like how Coach Robert says

“Slow it down. Think it through. Then you will see their traps coming.”

Once you’ve seen the trap then we use the plan. When we see our plans succeeding and challenges overcome, the joy of all the hard work is unmatchable to anything. May be that’s how I felt when I saw the movie; I could feel that joy. This movie and her attitude to life makes me want to meet my days with more grace and far-sightedness instead of being ungrateful and cribbing about having to deal with things. Every one has to meet challenges in their own ways and we must not give up. To each one of us  “Do not be quick to tip your king, …. You must never surrender.” Coach Robert

P.S. Watch the movie if you havent. Queen Of Katwe

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On Expressing

It’s a long time since I lost that bubble I use to live in where I wouldn’t take everything so seriously in the first place. Everything is okay as a child, like walking around alone at a playground is fine, didn’t have to necessarily mean anything. Everything was so easy going, like not getting what you want was totally fine, as soon as your mom distracted you with a random insect on the wall. Everything would be fine in just a few milliseconds, like one second I was barking at my sibling for pulling my hair, the next we’re sharing food and giggling at some stranger. Expressing every thought was like an auto-set thing, blabbing away everything.a821f2dad2c25bd54472476fe039628332c1bf838adc47a86b55dc0921e24a86_1

Did I have no emotions? Was I not mature then? Or was it that I saw the world differently when I wasn’t busy behaving like “grown ups” (ADULT-ING)?

Why does everything have to become so much more complicated when we are adults? Like I got that a lot “ Grow up!” as a kid and I was, physically, but my mental state was like how do I do that? I though it was all about taking responsibilities and not letting people know exactly how you felt. But trust me I had it all wrong all this while.

My friend Kavita told me this once, even a toddler has a responsibility of learning how to talk and walk, and call its mom for a loo break, which made so much sense. About sharing Landmark Education has made a life altering learning for me. Not telling people how you feel is like having a cellphone and pretending to message someone when you’re awkward around people. We are all growing, learning and feeling different things at all the points of our lives. None of that stops whether you’re 20, 40 or 8 years old.

We all have some emotional baggage when we don’t let people in our lives know how we feel and here is a friend willing to share his experience on how some alone time at Prague really gave him the perspective in his life and his relationships and how speaking about how he feels made a world of a difference.


“I just had a breakup and ‘Prague The Romantic City’ was my Snapchat filter. Trust me it made me fall in love, the place. Life doesn’t run a clear course all the time. I just had a break and I was in a romantic city. It was suicidal. I was thrilled; I was on a holiday in Europe doing what I always wanted to do and at the same time there was an empty feeling. I would walk down old lanes, squares and sit by the river lost in memories I have cherished.

There are times we just can’t get over things. You love someone because you can’t help it. It stays even when you just met, when you are dating and even much after you breakup. It’s not in us to start hating someone we love. When you fall in love with someone you learn from them. You give your 100% in the relationship because it means something to you. The memories one carries are so beautiful he would carry them to the grave. I packed it with me to Prague.

Sometimes things don’t last and situations change and there are different things we want from life. There could be ambitions, or we have different dreams. I think not ending up together, doesn’t change the significance of what we had. It just means it has done its part. I had sleepless nights for weeks because it was something real to both of us.

What did Europe have to do? – For me it was the travel. When you travel you meet yourself or so I had heard. Well I felt, you spend time with the person you are and who you have become over time. How life has played with you. There are moments you are all alone. I was in a place where I didn’t know anyone. I couldn’t share the way I felt. I gave things a thought.

It made me realize I was holding on to something that was long gone. And in the process of which ruining myself. I felt I had changed. Rude replies, ignorant about my close ones. Someone who didn’t care anymore. I would just want to avoid people. Anyone in that case.

“It’s only when you risk failure that you discover things. When you play it safe, you’re not expressing the utmost of your human experience.” Lupita Nyong’o

The sooner you realize it’s not worth crying over spilt milk the better. When I got back I had learnt there was so much more to life. So many opportunities, and how beautiful life is. I decided to make that call. Putting everything aside and coming to a place where we could be friends. Letting your heart out to them. I know it’s very difficult to make that call. Just know that it’s important for what you had with them, because no one knows what you had better than them.

I told her how special were the times we have had. That I was glad I had her in my life. That I’m fine with how things are.

It’s tough to be emotionally attached and accept things later. The feeling you get when you let it off your chest. That’s just fantastic and peaceful.”


So that’s something we were really good at as kids, just pouring our hearts out and heaving a sigh of relief. Thanks a lot for sharing your experience, it gives me so much courage to just be like that again, where I wasn’t scared to say what I feel and I wouldn’t take everything so seriously in the first place.

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Travelling as an Indian tourist 

I want my country to be the best and this is coming from the small kid in me who sang the Indian national anthem in her school, everyday at morning assembly. This patriotic feeling will never go away and I’m not a soldier but just an honest citizen.

I have been to many countries with my family, and coming directly to the point, not many countries are happy to have us, Indians, around. My first thought when I felt this resistance was ‘oh! racism!’. It was easy to just give it a word.

Then more travelling and I also came to this understanding that there are Indian restaurants in every corner of the world, there are more Indian tourists in so many parts of the world than tourists of any other nationality, there are so many countries depending on the Indian tourists for their tourism industry. They should be waiting to have us then, don’t you think?

Then came some more travelling and believe me I can’t stand some of the Indian tourists, not for more than 10 min. I hope you’re not one of them. I know there is still more travelling to do and more to understand but at this point I have to write, I have been challenged to protect my country from getting a bad reputation, how am I supposed to face that when I’m on a holiday.

So I write this to every Indian who is holding a passport and plans to leave India, do not push in any queue or cut lines in a queue, you have got to wait for your turn and I’m sure we’ve learnt that in our country, if not now is the time.

There isn’t anything as one’s “Personal Standard Time”, we have to stick to the time we say we want to reach a place and by doing that we save a lot of trouble for the people helping us see their country.

We cannot look down upon people based on their professions or their occupation standards, they are living their lives in their capacity and we have to respect them as humans and behave as you would expect them to behave with us.

We know we love our celebrations and the festive feel when we have a big group with us, but is it fair to encroach upon the space of other people by bringing the noise along with us where ever we go? We need to understand that space means so much more than just physical body, it’s the whole environment around us and we need to respect others’ spaces. Keep it quiet if there are others commuting or in public areas have fun in your own space.
Yes we have a very different culture back in our country and we can learn how to adjust incase we travel, not throw garbage around their city, or cross the roads everywhere.

Yes, I was lucky to have parents who have helped me learn, but I can now understand that it’s a culture clash and many have not had the opportunity to travel and for first timers it can be a challenge to face different cultures. But please let’s do our best and build some good reputation for our future, so our kids don’t face resistance just because they are Indians.

A word to other countries, please stop generalising, one bad experience does not mean every Indian you meet is going to give you a tough time and it is mutual tolerance at the end of the day, we all have something to learn. Let’s have patience and help each other.

For India, because the more I travel the more I love my country and people, we are so much more as a country and we can change for the better and we will.
Jai hind!

TED talk: A Brilliant watch-

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All In A Toothbrush

My life is moving fast,

So is yours my friend.

From the toothbrush at dawn

To the toothbrush at bed,

I’m thinking, and my brain is running;

Running at the speed of lightning.

Can you see the sparks?

My heart is racing with time,

90 beats per min, now a 100.

And all the food that my tummy tastes,

My muscles have consumed.

I feel things at the drop of words

And they send a whirlwind up my mind.

Physically; emotionally; mentally;

Every second down to my soul,


And suddenly, thud! A rock bottom;

An iceberg in my life.

Yes, I’m still very much alive,

And I’m drained. I need my friend

To kick my rear with her spiky shoe,

Startling my worries away;

Jolting up to a new dawn,

A new toothbrush to bed.

I’m in and out this circle of life.

Everyday I am,

Physically, emotionally and mentally

Balancing my walk on a tight rope.

Exhilarated and toiling at the same time.


Its perspective I learn, like a compass

That sails your journey of life.

Like a coin with many sides, call it a die.

We can be stubborn, angry,

Screaming at our neighbors, complaining,

Arguing, or doing worse to a friend;

Or: we can breathe in some light,

Spread the confetti called love,

Look at the sun, wear those shades,

Carry that smile bright

And meet humans we call strangers like friends.

Now every morn when I’ve brushed my teeth,

A look at my brush and I know I’ve done enough

To keep me ALIVE. It’s just the smile,

It’s just the outlook of my mind.

Your perspective will sail you ahead

And bring you back to your toothbrush,

With a smile you’ll go back to bed.



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To expect is human, to fly is not,(not yet). 

A mother, a home maker, has so many roles to play from the minute she blinks open her eyes to nightfall. In those hours she has to manage to make her husband have a happy wife, her kids have a caring and responsible mother, her in-laws have a good daughter-in-law, her friends have an available time slot if not a decent friendship, her relatives to keep in touch with, her house to look after and keep maintained, her help to keep satisfied, forget a great career if she has pets I think she is doomed.


Are you a home-maker? No? Me neither. Don’t worry you won’t get away with it, even if you’re just a 5 year old, people are expecting you to rise up to their standards of expectations. Everyone has relationships and that’s what human beings are about, we have become social animals with great expectations for our social endeavours.

What is the cost of being this social animal? Your health? Your time for yourself? Self worth and your identity?

Many people sacrifice to be someone they’re not everyday to fulfil others expectations (willingly or unwillingly) and feel stuck after a point in time, forgetting their way back or forward. It’s not wrong to do things that make you happy because that’s exactly what makes you who you are. That identity must only be your choice to alter, by choosing to do things that gives you immense joy wether through building others or spending time on yourself.

When he was a little boy he had dreams of flying a plane, of being a writer, of being a dramatist, a world best fire-fighter, may be a violinist. He had dreams just like you and me. Then he was acquainted with one relationship after another and he let go of all those tiny little hopes of making himself feel accomplished, happy and proud. ‘You will be a doctor, just like your father.’

Building relations is like collecting tools, they help you build your life. We expect things from the people in our lives. I am trying very hard to meet everyone’s expectations I know. I have expectations from everyone I’ve met or known and now decide to give them a chance to understand and chose to help me or NOT. That’s right they can say no to me. All my acquaintances and people, were born to reach their own heights and not to be who I expect them to be. My father doesn’t have to take out time for lengthy conversations with me everyday just for me to know he cares, my mom doesn’t have to be able to guess what’s upsetting me 24/7 just to make me feel like she knows me.

I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.

Bruce Lee

It’s very easy to have expectations from others and a challenge to guess and fulfil another person’s expectations from you.

Why do we latch our relations with expectations, why do we not give them a choice? Why are the relationships conditioned on our expectations fulfilled? When a person does fulfill your expectations out of choice the feeling is unmatched, unlike when they do it with the fear of keeping the relationship intact.

A healthy relationship would then be where mutual expectations needn’t be guessed but communicated and understood, fulfilment of which is not mandatory/forced and burdensome, but out of choice done with a sense of love and a bit of pride.

So what happens when you are not willing to fulfil someone’s expectations, then you communicate with regret for not being able to be their support on the matter. May be you will find the will to do so in future but your relationship will come through if you both just want to be in it no matter what.
We need to understand that it’s not barter where I build you so now it’s my turn to be built by him/her. We give ourselves wholly to build the pillars of our relationships so that the roof is intact and ,nothing can shake it .We trust eventually when we know the pillars’ strength is strong enough to hold in spite of unfulfilled expectations.

So chose to make those pillars out of trust or fear. Do you wish to extend an understanding hand to a friend who can’t make time for you, to a maid who always goes to her village every alternate weekend, to your spouse, family, relatives everyone? Question this in every relationship ‘what are the pillars really made of?’ and it will be a lasting and meaningful one.

Further watch: