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Standing in my Mother’s Shoes

Like most Indian (paranoid) moms I have a beautiful lady for a mother and she loves her children, beyond anything I can explain. I was a fussy little brat when young—she still thinks I’ve not grown up an inch. I look at her toil everyday, every second, in her own way to make sure everything is smooth in our lives. I don’t see her complain about it; she is doing it selflessly. Sometimes I try to understand this attitude of endless giving. I can’t even comprehend it, secretly don’t want to. Mostly, because I cannot fathom being that selfless.

Selfless or even grateful for that matter. Whenever my demands are met, I wouldn’t express my gratitude as much. On the contrary, sometimes when I’m upset, I make a huge scene, blow it out of proportion and make sure the point is made. I wonder what gets into me. Without airbrushing any of my mistakes, I stand here being a total “dementor” (Refer: Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling). I can’t even imagine being in her place.

Most of us are very ambitious and goal driven. I feel every one wants to achieve something in life. Go somewhere, do something great, leave a mark and get noticed. What about mothers? (Long pause to think)

I love children and I wave at every kid I see, shamelessly ignoring their parents getting annoyed. I would love having my own kids some day. Oh! No! The idea of having a kid like myself, really shakes the ground in my imagination. What sort of a mother would I be? Would I thrash the living ghost out of the kid or spoil them with everything? What’s right? Who is going to tell me? The thought of putting myself in her shoes really got me blown away. Would I sacrifice my evening soap siesta to teach my children Hindi? Would I let my kids butt into every conversation I would have with my husband? I have no idea what in the world they are going to throw at me? A whole new ball game.

We always think moms should be this way, she should do this and not that. My mom doesn’t socialize much; I pester her to call her friends home. I put so much pressure on her. The over-smart side of me could write her a manual on “How to be my mom”. For a human to have tiny humans act smart is difficult for the ego to take. I know this because I have a tiny human for a brother who has shot up and doesn’t act tiny anymore. Now if the tiny human has come out of your own body and is acting smart I would want to show them their place. What stops my mom from showing me mine?

On connecting the dots, I think that’s love. Her love for me is in my cells and my thoughts, my feeling, my words and even my bones. She doesn’t want to stop me, or doesn’t ever put me down. She knows I’m tough on her but she is so open to it. She is where I get my willingness, motivation to learn and be high on life. She has always been there for me even in my nastiest rebuttals. Sure it’s normal to argue with moms for a daughter. I still care, I care for her more than anybody in this world and sometimes the thought of not having her around someday to lie on her lap, brings tears to my eyes.

Mothers, they are your living walking, talking pillar of support and strength. I hope I’m better than a rainbow kooshball for mine. I know I haven’t been the best kid anyone would want, but my mom is irreplaceable to me. As I’m writing this I’m realizing the importance of feeling grateful for the people in your life, from every single cell. No one can be anything alone, you have a whole back up team helping you stand up from falls, dressing up your wounds and bringing the roof on your head for rainy days. So grateful for my people, especially my Mata! I LOVE YOU <3

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Disclaimer: This article doesn’t imply that I’m planning to have kids now. I am still an overgrown kid trying to get perspective. I’m that kid who studies in the summer holidays even before the year starts.

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High on life

How tough is it to feel high spirited all the time? Is social media to be blamed? I have not been able to stop myself from using a lot of Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp. I could just say its unavoidable but I personally know a lot of people who hardly or never use it to go about their lives. Did it get me anxious at some point? Yes. Does the likes and comments on social media give me a high? It did, at least sub consciously.

No one would document their entire life on social media, especially not the lows. You just have to know everyone’s human and no one is posting a selfie when they are crying. Imagine seeing photos of people crying everyday, that’s not what you want. So be happy for someone if they’re doing good. I only got this recently thanks to Hitha Chandrashekhar‘s ‘hithavachana“. Have courage to find people posting their beautiful moments on the web and not feel bad about yourself, or your life. Self talk- ‘Dont make it about you.’ Its their moment of shining glory, clap for your tribe. WE CANNOT COMPARE.

Everything’s downhill one second and exorbitantly great the next. I don’t know this unpredictability is growing on me or I’m ignoring the lows. Now I can say I’ve come a long way from that. “Not all days are the same!” This was told to me by my Coach at boxing class when I was upset about not giving my best. We cannot expect all days to be the best. Everyday is not a Sunday and we have to love Mondays too with equal force. EACH DAY IS BEST IN ITS OWN WAY, TAKE WHAT YOU CAN FROM IT.

The one thing that keeps me really up and about is my workout schedule and my body clock. I don’t compromise on it and my body doesn’t compromise on me. Its important to have a morning routine and I go up to my terrace to see the sunrise even if its cloudy. Even if it’s a bad day look for the good- that’s the message I’m taking in everyday. And when its that golden goldy coming out of the tank of my neighbours building I close my eyes and just feel the light on my face. That’s me. You could have your own thing going. MORNING ROUTINE.

Exercising or sportsobviously as the internet and mostly everyone I know of, proclaims to keep your mood up! There’s not much I can add to it, its all out there, endorphins, sweating it out, blood circulation, be active. WORKOUT.

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Watching movies like “Chak de” or “Bhaag Milkha Bhaag”, “Wonder Woman” and “Creed” brings the enthu cutlet out of me. I keep myself in reach of anything that can motivate me. Its just contagious. Reading books help too. The lead character from the series “Me Before You”, “Me After You”, and “Still Me” by Jojo Moyes, Louisa Clark really inspires me to be upbeat in every situation. My friend once suggested I watch videos of people breaking their limits before I workout and Yes that does get your spirits up. GET INSPIRED.

This one you don’t want to try for every time. I use all the healthy food that I like as a motivator, like dark chocolate and banana chips. I set it like a reward system. If I finish my work by a time I’ve set, I get a piece of the healthy treat. Its like a carrot stick effect. It totally works for me and I’m not indulging in something completely off my lifestyle. TRICK AND TREAT.

Sometimes I break my routine by doing something very different. I call a friend in the middle of work, eat in front of the TV, don’t speak for a whole day. Its what distracts me from my routine, but believe me these small changes have a huge effect when you get back to the regular. Travel can’t be convenient for everyone at all times, so try to do some thing differently everyday. May be play music in the shower if you don’t already. MAKE IT DIFFERENT.

Last one, to be motivated you have to care enough about something, that you are interested in. Enough to do something about it. If you don’t care about anything and you don’t mind being complacentabout everything, then you really don’t land yourself anywhere but where you already are. CARE ABOUT SOMETHING.

Start making an effort towards your attitude to approaching anything in life. If you want to be motivated all the time its up to you. When you find your own motivator inside you, you don’t need to look outside. Or wait for someone to cheer you, you are enough. It’s a skill you want to develop because not everyone is waiting to pat your back. Keep the spirits up and amplify the motivating voice inside.

 

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