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Are you Breathing?

Einstein’s theory of relativity states that light travels in the same speed in vacuum and air. It is not affected by the speed at which the observer is travelling. Sun being a constant and the biggest source of light, we took our relative movement in comparison to the sun and invented TIME. Earth is revolving and rotating and doing its dance around the Sun and the sun stands and watches; it’s light spreading constantly in all directions. If I say I’m forty years old, relatively I have moved that many times around the Sun.

What if I did not want to measure my life based on earth’s orbital show. What if I wanted to measure my life based on other things, being completely oblivious to time? What is the one thing constant in our body? Sun is a source of energy and we have a source of energy inside us too. If sun is producing light which served as a constant and common measurement for the entire planet system, then breath is the common measurement for our body and its microorganisms; the source of life. How many breaths did you take in the last hour? I don’t think you noticed.

There are at least five or six times I catch myself not breathing, in the entire day. Mentally so occupied that my involuntary activities stop being involuntary. That’s one way my body tries to get attention— “Let’s stop breathing and see if she notices the work that goes in to keep her alive.” Does that happen to you? Or is it just me who is being played at?

There was a time when I was meditating regularly, now I’m just not doing it (No reasons attached). Back then, I had very few moments of thoughtlessness and it felt awesome. It’s like someone put me on standby. My breathing would flow effortlessly and it was just that. Existing for a few minutes, no judgement. 

What if we are born to do just that? Breathe and exist. We have all been trained to— “don’t just exist, live every second like it’s your last.” I see now why our dogs are not as stressed as we are. Hours of lounging around the living room, under the bed, under the dining table and at the door of the kitchen. We don’t do this kind of lounging. We are hustlers now, ruled by FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

There is cost we pay to hustle which is not being promoted as much. There is something called the flight-or-fight response and we are subconsciously always on fight mode. We are so used to putting ourselves through stressful situations that our body forgets to turn it off. The body’s response to stress is releasing hormones that help you fight; which has a tumble down effect. Increased heartbeat and breathing, rise in blood pressure and more glucose goes into the blood to release energy which helps us fight the situation. Answer to diabetes may be. 

So is meditation the answer? To escape this ‘Fire-in-the-Mountain-Run-Run-Run’ attitude to life. Hatha Yoga has taught me so much and this too — being conscious in movement and to slow down; simple. Slow is the new fast, relax is the new hustle, letting go is the new FOMO. I still remember Dj’s(My Yoga teacher) words “Flow like honey”. A simple thing like brushing your teeth, you could bring your mind completely to it. The bristles dragging on the surface of your enamel and slow it down. Or chewing consciously every bite, feeling the samosa getting crushed and making its way inside. Just like how they talk your body into relaxing in Shavasana; you need to do that with smaller activities throughout the day, everyday.

Mindfulness is just that, to slow down life and let seconds blur out into minutes, minutes into hours. Going about your day mindfully will improve your concentration, save your brain from burning out, help you make better decisions and your reflexes will be better, you will also have more reaction time to any given situation.

While for the sages in mountains, who have given up worldly ways of living, days don’t even measure into hours. They are not dependant on the earth dancing around the sun. Their mind is focusing on the breath and its flow. In a world without ‘Time’ a recipe would instruct‘time-taken’as 79 breaths; the delivery will be done in 300 breaths and you have been using your phone for 154960 breaths. Would that make you more conscious of the way you want to use your breaths? Being unaware of our last breath, makes it even more important to salvage each one of them. We may not be ready to leave for the mountains yet, till then we should stop glorifying being busy and keep checking on ourselves ‘am I breathing?’ 

Sometimes you should just be:

Evdy Bawdy Chillax Maan

I’m not saying meditation can now be evaded. We may not be able to sit and do it everyday, as diligently, so instead of chasing perfection just slow down. I even came across an exercise (picture) you can do in between work. It’s very effective and it’s like a quick charging when your battery is about to die. 

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The Short and Tall of Things

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted something desperately and someone you know is getting it? A car, a new phone, materialistic things, a vacation, a good friend, a great life partner, amazing parents (especially when you’ve been grounded by your folks), friendly boss, an enthusiastic team, great network, fame and the list of the neighbour’s grass is endless. All of this you covet and feel like you deserved but was denied by some injustice on god’s part. 

Insecurity can hit anyone, I have my own insecurities and as per situation they keep surprising me. Everytime I’ve felt jealous I’ve only brought my whole life to the value of a single peanut size against someone’s mountains of peanut butter jars (that’s gold FYI). Why do I do this? ‘What makes me do this?’ is a better question to ask. What makes me think pitching my life against her and him and Jaya, Priya and Rahul, is completely fine?

It doesn’t feel any good when I’m thinking that way. I am usually content with what I have, it’s just tough when someone comes at me with their shiny new sword and pokes it into my eye. Even then, I wanted to be free of feeling so caught up in devaluing my own life’s journey. Was there a way to not get anxious? Yes! Don’t compare! Hitha Chandrashekhar my college mate, also a leading Kanada actress, said to me “Try feeling happy for them and try to be a part of their happiness.” That tip was worth trying when you’re conscious of you ‘looking at things in a jealous way’.

How do we land up in this feeling of quicksand in the first place? Can’t we be content 24/7 even when someone is trying to burry us in their heaps of glories? What’s this need to be better than the other? Survival Instinct? Competition is a debatable topic, there are so many perspectives to it. It’s not worth it when children are told to compare grades, height, memory power, dancing skills, other “good child” syndrome symptoms with other classmates or siblings. Its not survival instinct to use your neighbour as a yardstick to be better—it’s greed instinct. 

Imagine a row of ladders, every ladder a different height. You keep looking at the other person’s ladder and which rung she or he has reached. This observation is okay if it’s not an obsession. If you get hypnotised here, you may have a longer ladder reaching the clouds but, you will never reach it because you need to be at your neighbours level to compete with them. A healthier outlook would be to remember where you started and see yourself reaching out to the next you. 

On my first ten kilometre run I learnt that you don’t see the ten kilometres as your target you set shorter goals. May be a light pole, a tree or a dog lounging at two hundred metres and then the next and so on. Gradually you cover the distance, divided in parts using stationery object; not something which is running along with you. May be set goals and keep your old self as a light post you just run past. 

You could even be on the receiving end of jealousy. Some people are so transparent you can see they’ve worn jealousy for make up. How do you not be rude and tell them they need a touch-up. Please don’t underplay, you’re not doing them a service by showing them a rosy world which doesn’t exist. Get real, hand them a tissue and ask them why don’t they feel happy for you?

Reality is raw but life mostly just turns out exactly what you tell your mind about how you want it to turn out. So if someone’s telling you, you’re short or too tall, dark or too white, worthless or too pompous, ask them “who are you pitching me against?”, because I’m perfect just by myself. I didn’t do this when my friend’s grandmom made us stand shoulder to shoulder to check who is taller. I know of a few tall people who’ve had pills to stop their height I can imagine the trauma they’ve gone through. 

If you’re being this grandma then stop traumatizing people or telling their minds they need to feel small. If someone’s doing that to you then drown their voices out by reminding yourself- ‘your journey is your journey and you’ll get to be the dark chocolate peanut butter when it is your time’. Apna time aaega! 

P.S.missed watching Gully Boy, anyone coming with me? 

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Head over ‘Heals’

 Part I -“Heal-arious as can be

(Part II) 

We all love adventures in our own ways and every time you put yourself out there, you learn something and you will dirty your hands, get hurt, break a limb and lose an eye (okay may be not that drastic). A cell is a world in itself and it can divide and multiply. The whole process replaces old cells and this causes physical healing in our bodies. All the elements are natural healers and our body is meant to heal when the elements are well balanced. Small things you can incorporate daily to achieve this:

  1. Greenery: Our eyes are the only part of the body that never grow in size from birth to death. It is almost telling us “To look at the world the same way as when we didn’t understand anything.” That’s when we had most amount of common sense. Being in the centre of the spectrum, green is the colour of balance, which strikes the eye in such a way as to require no adjustments. Therefore, seeing green colour helps your eyes quickly recover from strain. Forest bathing (shinrin-yoku) is a thing in Japan, where people connect with the natural forest atmosphere and this nature therapy is a cornerstone of preventive healthcare. Just being and immersing ourselves in nature can cure us and keep us healthy. 
  2. Physical movement: Why didn’t I say exercising? For healing just getting your body moving is enough. You can dance, jump about or walk or just do some cleaning. Physical activity is essential because our bodies were meant to move and not be stationary and glued to our chairs and couches. If you move enough everyday and don’t have a sedentary lifestyle you would recover (if you fell sick, or had a health issue) sooner than some one who is a couch potato. Mental health improves by just getting yourself some exercise. 
  3. Laughing: There are plenty of live comedy shows, comedy movies, hilarious reads and Netflix comedy series. Endorphins are released in our bodies, everytime we laugh, increasing our body’s production of antibodies and T-cells that fight off disease and boost our immune system. A strong immune system is essential to healing. Funnier people definitely have it easier in life. So make sure you get some laughter in everyday, it’s the most fun way to heal. 
  4. Good bacteria: Gut health is not a new topic and there is more awareness today about good bacteria that they make up ninety percent of our body. We can incorporate fermented food in our diets and avoid antibiotics which destroy good along with bad bacteria. Fermented foods like sauerkraut, kimchi, pickles, ACV, Coconut vinegar, Beetroot Kvaas, Kombucha and Rice-cake(Idli) batter is what I’ve tried. Gut health also improves with exposure to different bacteria, from pets like dogs, travelling to different countries and farming and playing in the mud. So pick up that spade and start gardening in your backyard. 
  5. Animals: How does cuddling your dog feel? It’s a boon that we have so many animals, still not extinct and we can co-exist and benefit each other. Yes, gut health does improve with having pets at home but this link will surprise you how some animals can even heal you. This link has so many interesting facts: https://www.goodnet.org/articles/5-animals-incredible-healing-powers-list. We have a symbiotic relationship with so many animals. Humans can really connect with other species, we hardly see a goat and cow hugging each other but humans can do that with so many of the domestic species. A research reveals that those who rear cats and dogs have healthy hearts as compared to their counterparts. If you don’t have pets make sure you meet your neighbour’s once in a while. 
  6. Early morning Sunlight: As the famous health adage goes: everything in moderation. And sunlight is NO exception. In moderate amounts, exposing our skin to sunlight on a regular basis—especially a daily basis—can have numerous and immense benefits on some surprising facets to our health. The Vitamin D bit everyone is already aware, but sunlight can helps cure seasonal depression, improve the immune system. The human eye contains photosensitive cells in its retina, with connections directly to the pituitary gland in the brain. Stimulation of these important cells comes from sunlight, in particular, the blue unseen spectrum. Taking a peek outside at the dawn’s first sunlight is a habit worth implementing.
  7. Doing something new: Learning a new language or a new skill, even doing a new activity helps the brain cells produce new neural pathways and electrical connections. This helps the white matter remain dense and healthy, increasing the ability to do learn faster and heal fast. Its important we stimulate our brain with new experiences every week if not everyday. Monotony can reduce the brains capacity and in the long run lead to dementia. Prevention is better than cure and we can do our bit in maintaining the health. 
  8. Sleeping well: Sleeping repairs your body like nothing else. Resting is different, you’re conscious and awake when resting. Sleep stops most of the functions in your body and only the involuntary systems are functioning. Your brain also gets rid of 60 percent more toxins when you get the proper amount of sleep. Wounds heal faster when we sleep. I sometimes try to sleep off a flu and it works. So get at least 7-8 hours of sleep. Good night.

Happy Healing

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Reroute

One morning I woke up replaying an argument I had a few days ago and I lived with that thought playing in my head the whole day. This became normal after a few weeks. I couldn’t tell I was doing this, a few months down and it was habit before I realised. It’s a dark space to be in, I can see now that I’m not there anymore. Over thinking had become very natural to me and I didn’t want to call it depression. It’s a taboo, right?, to have depression and talk about it. I mean not everyone thinks it’s okay. Not even today.

From this dark space my mind could only operate like that, but from another view I knew I’m blessed beyond imagination. How do you decide in the worst second of your mood that you need to be seeing life from the sunny-beach eyes and not from some cold-cave-hollow-eyes(exaggerated)?  

It was the urge to live better and fulfilled but knowing what I deserve. Know your worth, that you deserve to feel good. My sister passed me on this advice she got -“if you know you’re doing the right thing, don’t let anything that anyone says or does affect you”. What does your conscience tell you? 

I think talking to her, sharing my space and taking help was the main thing. Need to know that I deserve better. Sulking, believing in the negative words voiced at you, playing victim, beating yourself up mentally, letting yourself think your life is controlled, it was all exhausting me and I could tell by the way I felt. I wanted better. A few friends heard me out, some pushed me away. I wasn’t giving up.

A while back I wrote about how I want to have a fulfilled experience of life and not just chase happiness. No emotions are wrong or bad. It’s the way we deal with it. Over time I’ve learnt to not resist any emotions. Feel it, leave the thought behind and just pick myself up and move. 

Do everything in my capacity to get back up for me. 

So it’s not like I’m mentally on the beach all the time, I still have rough moments in a day. I can choose to hold on to it and I can still add up everything that’s not happening the way I want it to. Every obstacle, everything that I’m being stopped from, every troubling incident that’s added to my memory like when you’ve added too much salt in your curry and you can’t take it out. Just trying to fix my curry as I pass every day. 

The idea is to not fix the curry, the salt is already added you trying to fix it is only going to make things worse. Just accept and make a new one.

Once I know I’m not able to think clearly I tell myself to “reroute”. Keep a list at hand -Dark chocolate(its magic), call sister, call a friend, take a shower, blare music, get a walk, Netflix, binge watch comedy videos (Sunil Grover) and read some inspiring stories online, . Not running away but just giving my mind some timeout, because when you’re emotional it’s not easy to tell the difference between sea breeze and cave chills.

So may we help each other in rough seas and pick ourselves up when there’s no one around, because who doesn’t like beaches.


Must Must Must watch this!!!

DO read! Very helpful! 

https://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/therese-borchard-sanity-break/ways-cultivate-good-gut-bacteria-reduce-depression/

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Diwali Purging

I’m back to my annual cleaning for Diwali, donating things I don’t use, arranging things, organizing, changing the liners in my cupboards and making space for good things to come in. I got this crazy idea synonymously. This is just the external environment we refresh annually; a lot of people do it for Christmas. Physically our bodies do it with the help of our kidneys and liver, which detox naturally (I just have to relate things to health after all). What about the mind? The mind works more and we are always using it. How about removing thoughts we don’t need? Arranging the limited thoughts that are useful and organizing them mentally (jotting it down). Making space for new thoughts to come in.

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For all of us over-thinkers, I guess we’re just very materialistic in terms of the mind. Hoarding things is bad enough, we hoard thoughts, imagine how crammed our brains get. So the essential question here is “how” to de-clutter your mind and remove thoughts you don’t need?

I was at a point of time where a thought once held in my mind, it just got pasted there and won’t leave no matter what. It was like compulsive thinking. Feeling like a rat on a glue patch, I would go on attaching myself to it and all my idle time would drown me in it. Obsessive thought process is like a bald man buying too many combs and hair brushes. How did I come out of this?

When I was growing up I didn’t like yoga classes and I just couldn’t sit still. I can still remember the expression of Mrs.Dolly (my yoga teacher) every time I’d peek open my eyes in meditation. She had given up on me. It grew on me only recently, so much that I want to write about it.

I gradually moved into loving meditation since, one of the yoga sessions; we were told by our instructor, Deepti, to listen to different sounds lying in shav asana. The cycle bell went off, then I could hear a bus whizzing away till its sound faded in the distance. Someone was leaving, so the door opened and closed. It wasn’t like the usual relaxation but we were supposed to be actively focusing on things. It was annoying for someone who looks forward to the five minutes’ power nap. I realized only later that only my sense of hearing was active the whole time and the rest of the senses were on a holiday. Detaching the other senses made hearing smallest of sounds seem so natural.

Imagine detaching from all of your senses then. It doesn’t come naturally and takes years of meditation. There are Float therapies which put you in a sensory deprived state, yet to experience that one, for now I’m just incorporating meditating into my daily life.

I even had this weird idea that everywhere (at work, home, school or at the station) it would just be normal for people to stop whatever they were doing at a particular time of the day and meditate. Just like standardized time zones, living patterns, receiving newspapers, and many worldlier accepted habits, why not have a world over standard time for meditation.

I can only imagine how many people would still choose not to or not be able to, since it would be easier when everyone is doing it. It wouldn’t be something you need to teach anymore, since any child would see this from the day they are born and naturally want to imbibe it. Like how we can’t wait to start wearing watches and tell the time.

I picture my thoughts, like the yellow 3M post-its, knocking at my head. So meditating hasn’t stopped my thoughts or the knocking. Its just made it easier to hear the knocks and not answer the door. The knocking slows down and gets tired eventually. I now mostly let in (focus on) only the thoughts that help me live in a better way or become better at whatever I intend to do. Keeps my mental space roomy and airy enough to let the post its fly out when I’m done. This Diwali, or once in a while make sure you air out your mental space and use the right post-its to decorate your wall.


How to meditate has been answered by too many people but I’ve generally followed the Smile-and-sit technique for 10-15 min, also a few links bellow for whatever I’ve tried along the process.

Eat, Pray, Love- Elizabeth Gilbert 

Chanting Om-mani-padme-hum

Twin hearts meditation

Isha Kriya by Sadhguru

Disclaimer: The cover photo is not clicked by @mycoffeeweather Its available on the internet and its just got it edited as relevant to the article.