Tag: india

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The Short and Tall of Things

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted something desperately and someone you know is getting it? A car, a new phone, materialistic things, a vacation, a good friend, a great life partner, amazing parents (especially when you’ve been grounded by your folks), friendly boss, an enthusiastic team, great network, fame and the list of the neighbour’s grass is endless. All of this you covet and feel like you deserved but was denied by some injustice on god’s part. 

Insecurity can hit anyone, I have my own insecurities and as per situation they keep surprising me. Everytime I’ve felt jealous I’ve only brought my whole life to the value of a single peanut size against someone’s mountains of peanut butter jars (that’s gold FYI). Why do I do this? ‘What makes me do this?’ is a better question to ask. What makes me think pitching my life against her and him and Jaya, Priya and Rahul, is completely fine?

It doesn’t feel any good when I’m thinking that way. I am usually content with what I have, it’s just tough when someone comes at me with their shiny new sword and pokes it into my eye. Even then, I wanted to be free of feeling so caught up in devaluing my own life’s journey. Was there a way to not get anxious? Yes! Don’t compare! Hitha Chandrashekhar my college mate, also a leading Kanada actress, said to me “Try feeling happy for them and try to be a part of their happiness.” That tip was worth trying when you’re conscious of you ‘looking at things in a jealous way’.

How do we land up in this feeling of quicksand in the first place? Can’t we be content 24/7 even when someone is trying to burry us in their heaps of glories? What’s this need to be better than the other? Survival Instinct? Competition is a debatable topic, there are so many perspectives to it. It’s not worth it when children are told to compare grades, height, memory power, dancing skills, other “good child” syndrome symptoms with other classmates or siblings. Its not survival instinct to use your neighbour as a yardstick to be better—it’s greed instinct. 

Imagine a row of ladders, every ladder a different height. You keep looking at the other person’s ladder and which rung she or he has reached. This observation is okay if it’s not an obsession. If you get hypnotised here, you may have a longer ladder reaching the clouds but, you will never reach it because you need to be at your neighbours level to compete with them. A healthier outlook would be to remember where you started and see yourself reaching out to the next you. 

On my first ten kilometre run I learnt that you don’t see the ten kilometres as your target you set shorter goals. May be a light pole, a tree or a dog lounging at two hundred metres and then the next and so on. Gradually you cover the distance, divided in parts using stationery object; not something which is running along with you. May be set goals and keep your old self as a light post you just run past. 

You could even be on the receiving end of jealousy. Some people are so transparent you can see they’ve worn jealousy for make up. How do you not be rude and tell them they need a touch-up. Please don’t underplay, you’re not doing them a service by showing them a rosy world which doesn’t exist. Get real, hand them a tissue and ask them why don’t they feel happy for you?

Reality is raw but life mostly just turns out exactly what you tell your mind about how you want it to turn out. So if someone’s telling you, you’re short or too tall, dark or too white, worthless or too pompous, ask them “who are you pitching me against?”, because I’m perfect just by myself. I didn’t do this when my friend’s grandmom made us stand shoulder to shoulder to check who is taller. I know of a few tall people who’ve had pills to stop their height I can imagine the trauma they’ve gone through. 

If you’re being this grandma then stop traumatizing people or telling their minds they need to feel small. If someone’s doing that to you then drown their voices out by reminding yourself- ‘your journey is your journey and you’ll get to be the dark chocolate peanut butter when it is your time’. Apna time aaega! 

P.S.missed watching Gully Boy, anyone coming with me? 

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When Curiosity Strikes

I thought I heard this girl scream a name as she flung the ball at the bowling pins. On my recent bowling game, I was very intently watching a few teenage girls play on the neighbouring lane; reminding me of my teenage years. They were dancing after every shot and were cheering for the others noisily even if it meant a humble score of five. I had just hit two gutters in a frame and would try anything to get back in the game, so I followed suit. I scooped the ball up and said someone’s name, who I believed in, under my breath. Gutter again! So the second attempt I picked it up and said my name “C’mon Sneha!”. It knocked off eight pins. 

Its hard to be confident sometimes, forget about believing in yourself. Some people fear getting over-confident and under-play it. Some have an unhealthy image about themselves. Some fear not being accepted if they be themselves. A few over-think it and miss the bus.  Why do we develop these notions and things that make us want to second guess our own abilities? Retrospection is good, but can it lead to over thinking? When do you know is the right time to jump into the rabbit hole and are you ever going to be ready? Alice wasn’t ready, but she was curious. 

Curiosity is like this tiny spark which pushes us into trying new things out and gives us the courage to go beyond our doubts. Without curiosity firing the minds of Thomas Edison, The Wright Brothers and Einstein, do you think they would overcome any of their insecurities and doubts? No. Curiosity is the key to getting out of the web of low self-esteem. Curiosity leads us to making an attempt and even when we fail, the curiosity sits like a spike on your chair; not letting you sit till you have an answer. It leads to inventions, revelation of ideas, and might lead to huge shifts in market. On a personal level it changes you to believe in yourself. Once you learn from your mistakes by feeding your curiosity, you get the knowledge of how not to do things. This knowledge feeds the curiosity— “How else then?” 

Believing in yourself doesn’t come naturally if you’ve not explored all your qualms and made some mistakes. Getting a few bad cakes, the first few times you bake, will make you a good chef; Getting a whole lot of bad batches, before you hit it off, will make you excellent. For baking the bad ones, you only have to go out there and attempt it. Fall and learn. 

Have you read about the man who gave up trying to go to the moon or who gave up trying a new recipe? There are no ballads about people who stopped trying. Even if you don’t want a song about you, you do want to live a meaningful life. So how do we end up unhappy sometimes with our situations? — we stop being curious. We have a split and we just roll the bowling ball down the lane hoping it hits at least one pin. We don’t ask “how do I get both?” Somewhere in our minds we shut ourselves from experiencing the answers, confrontations or any discomfort and don’t let our curiosity be expressed. 

Other times you have enough knowledge to back up your faith and you go ahead with feigning it. Affirmations is the ability to program your mind into believing. This is because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or fantasy. You can make-believe yourself into thinking you’ve got this. That’s how people who lift three times their body weight, do it. Envisioning things mentally prepares you to have it; then when you work for it, it doesn’t seem like work. Of course back it up with knowledge, I don’t suggest you envision wings and try foolish things. 

What’s even more foolish is to think we know it all; that’s a place you don’t want to be in. Curiosity doesn’t live there and you might be proudly getting average scores and dying of insecurity inside. Get down, keep engaging in the same thing over and over till you’ve learnt. Then our scores will do the talking. 

We are programmed to see life through a certain filter. Through the influence of social media, news and politics, we like to see life through those pretty lenses. Sometimes our curiosity can become very clouded with questions that bring us in loop to the same answers. May be we keep asking the same question. If you keep testing a blue litmus with an acidic solution it will keep turning red. We have to use other tests. De-clutter, speak to people, get some air, travel, workout the creative side of your mind and see if you’re asking better questions. 

Confidence is then just an over coat that people see, and you don’t even realize. You only have the knowledge of having been there, done that; and that becomes a part of you that no one can take away: self belief. Knowledge is the only handle we need to pull and curiosity is the key. Even after all this you will have moments you won’t believe in yourself, because there is always scope for more learning, there is no end. Learning is the only curve we need to care about in our lives. So jump right in, scream your name out loud and throw the ball, watch it roll. 

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Head over ‘Heals’

 Part I -“Heal-arious as can be“

(Part II) 

We all love adventures in our own ways and every time you put yourself out there, you learn something and you will dirty your hands, get hurt, break a limb and lose an eye (okay may be not that drastic). A cell is a world in itself and it can divide and multiply. The whole process replaces old cells and this causes physical healing in our bodies. All the elements are natural healers and our body is meant to heal when the elements are well balanced. Small things you can incorporate daily to achieve this:

  1. Greenery: Our eyes are the only part of the body that never grow in size from birth to death. It is almost telling us “To look at the world the same way as when we didn’t understand anything.” That’s when we had most amount of common sense. Being in the centre of the spectrum, green is the colour of balance, which strikes the eye in such a way as to require no adjustments. Therefore, seeing green colour helps your eyes quickly recover from strain. Forest bathing (shinrin-yoku) is a thing in Japan, where people connect with the natural forest atmosphere and this nature therapy is a cornerstone of preventive healthcare. Just being and immersing ourselves in nature can cure us and keep us healthy. 
  2. Physical movement: Why didn’t I say exercising? For healing just getting your body moving is enough. You can dance, jump about or walk or just do some cleaning. Physical activity is essential because our bodies were meant to move and not be stationary and glued to our chairs and couches. If you move enough everyday and don’t have a sedentary lifestyle you would recover (if you fell sick, or had a health issue) sooner than some one who is a couch potato. Mental health improves by just getting yourself some exercise. 
  3. Laughing: There are plenty of live comedy shows, comedy movies, hilarious reads and Netflix comedy series. Endorphins are released in our bodies, everytime we laugh, increasing our body’s production of antibodies and T-cells that fight off disease and boost our immune system. A strong immune system is essential to healing. Funnier people definitely have it easier in life. So make sure you get some laughter in everyday, it’s the most fun way to heal. 
  4. Good bacteria: Gut health is not a new topic and there is more awareness today about good bacteria that they make up ninety percent of our body. We can incorporate fermented food in our diets and avoid antibiotics which destroy good along with bad bacteria. Fermented foods like sauerkraut, kimchi, pickles, ACV, Coconut vinegar, Beetroot Kvaas, Kombucha and Rice-cake(Idli) batter is what I’ve tried. Gut health also improves with exposure to different bacteria, from pets like dogs, travelling to different countries and farming and playing in the mud. So pick up that spade and start gardening in your backyard. 
  5. Animals: How does cuddling your dog feel? It’s a boon that we have so many animals, still not extinct and we can co-exist and benefit each other. Yes, gut health does improve with having pets at home but this link will surprise you how some animals can even heal you. This link has so many interesting facts: https://www.goodnet.org/articles/5-animals-incredible-healing-powers-list. We have a symbiotic relationship with so many animals. Humans can really connect with other species, we hardly see a goat and cow hugging each other but humans can do that with so many of the domestic species. A research reveals that those who rear cats and dogs have healthy hearts as compared to their counterparts. If you don’t have pets make sure you meet your neighbour’s once in a while. 
  6. Early morning Sunlight: As the famous health adage goes: everything in moderation. And sunlight is NO exception. In moderate amounts, exposing our skin to sunlight on a regular basis—especially a daily basis—can have numerous and immense benefits on some surprising facets to our health. The Vitamin D bit everyone is already aware, but sunlight can helps cure seasonal depression, improve the immune system. The human eye contains photosensitive cells in its retina, with connections directly to the pituitary gland in the brain. Stimulation of these important cells comes from sunlight, in particular, the blue unseen spectrum. Taking a peek outside at the dawn’s first sunlight is a habit worth implementing.
  7. Doing something new: Learning a new language or a new skill, even doing a new activity helps the brain cells produce new neural pathways and electrical connections. This helps the white matter remain dense and healthy, increasing the ability to do learn faster and heal fast. Its important we stimulate our brain with new experiences every week if not everyday. Monotony can reduce the brains capacity and in the long run lead to dementia. Prevention is better than cure and we can do our bit in maintaining the health. 
  8. Sleeping well: Sleeping repairs your body like nothing else. Resting is different, you’re conscious and awake when resting. Sleep stops most of the functions in your body and only the involuntary systems are functioning. Your brain also gets rid of 60 percent more toxins when you get the proper amount of sleep. Wounds heal faster when we sleep. I sometimes try to sleep off a flu and it works. So get at least 7-8 hours of sleep. Good night.

Happy Healing

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Rasam

(Serves- 5 cups)

Cook Time: 30 min

**HEALTHY 

Ingredients: 

PART A
5 glasses water
4 big tomatoes chopped into 8 pieces
15 cloves garlic grounded finely
Handful coriander stems grounded fairly
2-teaspoon pepper ground it finely
2-teaspoon jeera ground finely
(*Heat the pepper and jeera together in a deep pan for about 4 min, then ground it together in a mortar piston) 
1-cup imli water (imli dipped in hot water)
Half-teaspoon turmeric powder
PART B
6-7 cloves garlic ground fairly
4 long dry red chili
10-15 curry leaves
1 spoon rai 
2-teaspoon oil (I used coconut oil)
 

STEPS

PART A
Boil the water, add the cut tomatoes. Once its completely boiled reduce the water into a deep saucer, and smash the tomatoes with a smasher. Add the water back and add garlic, coriander, pepper, jeera, imli water and turmeric powder.
Let it boil.
 
PART B
Heat the oil in the deep saucer, add rai once its hot enough. Once the rai pops add dry chili, curry leaves and garlic.  Sauté for about 2 min till flavor is strong. 
 
Final step add the tomato water in the chownk. Add Part A to Part B then stir for about 15 min till it’s a bit thicker. Then add 2 teaspoon Salt or as per requirement and stir.
 
Strain the whole concoction and serve with a coriander leaf floating on top! Lol
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Travelling as an Indian tourist 

I want my country to be the best and this is coming from the small kid in me who sang the Indian national anthem in her school, everyday at morning assembly. This patriotic feeling will never go away and I’m not a soldier but just an honest citizen.

I have been to many countries with my family, and coming directly to the point, not many countries are happy to have us, Indians, around. My first thought when I felt this resistance was ‘oh! racism!’. It was easy to just give it a word.

Then more travelling and I also came to this understanding that there are Indian restaurants in every corner of the world, there are more Indian tourists in so many parts of the world than tourists of any other nationality, there are so many countries depending on the Indian tourists for their tourism industry. They should be waiting to have us then, don’t you think?

Then came some more travelling and believe me I can’t stand some of the Indian tourists, not for more than 10 min. I hope you’re not one of them. I know there is still more travelling to do and more to understand but at this point I have to write, I have been challenged to protect my country from getting a bad reputation, how am I supposed to face that when I’m on a holiday.


So I write this to every Indian who is holding a passport and plans to leave India, do not push in any queue or cut lines in a queue, you have got to wait for your turn and I’m sure we’ve learnt that in our country, if not now is the time.

There isn’t anything as one’s “Personal Standard Time”, we have to stick to the time we say we want to reach a place and by doing that we save a lot of trouble for the people helping us see their country.

We cannot look down upon people based on their professions or their occupation standards, they are living their lives in their capacity and we have to respect them as humans and behave as you would expect them to behave with us.

We know we love our celebrations and the festive feel when we have a big group with us, but is it fair to encroach upon the space of other people by bringing the noise along with us where ever we go? We need to understand that space means so much more than just physical body, it’s the whole environment around us and we need to respect others’ spaces. Keep it quiet if there are others commuting or in public areas have fun in your own space.
Yes we have a very different culture back in our country and we can learn how to adjust incase we travel, not throw garbage around their city, or cross the roads everywhere.


Yes, I was lucky to have parents who have helped me learn, but I can now understand that it’s a culture clash and many have not had the opportunity to travel and for first timers it can be a challenge to face different cultures. But please let’s do our best and build some good reputation for our future, so our kids don’t face resistance just because they are Indians.

A word to other countries, please stop generalising, one bad experience does not mean every Indian you meet is going to give you a tough time and it is mutual tolerance at the end of the day, we all have something to learn. Let’s have patience and help each other.

For India, because the more I travel the more I love my country and people, we are so much more as a country and we can change for the better and we will.
Jai hind!

TED talk: A Brilliant watch-

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YMyofREc5Jk